Caveat! – I am pretty sure none of the great spiritual sages have ever said anything like that, but I came across something on the Internet the other day. It really resonated…
So I wanted to share it for anyone reading this who wants to become healthier or make a positive change in their lives to help themselves, or the planet.
I saw a post by a lovely lady on Instagram the other day called Beth, who runs a plastic-free shop.
She started it as a concerned citizen, worried about the impact of all the tiny bits of broken-down plastic in our oceans and in the food chain. She tries to live her life without single-use plastic. Admirable right! She explained something I’ve experienced many times on my own quest to be healthier – being derided and challenged for your efforts to do something positive.
She regularly gets asked things like “Is the dashboard of your van plastic-free!?!?” I can imagine the smug glint in the person’s eyes while asking it. But apart from the fact that the plastic dashboard isn’t single-use plastic and will be reused many times – they are also completely missing the most important point! The point being that….. It is better to do as much as you possibly can, even if that is imperfectly, as opposed to doing nothing at all!
It’s might sound surprising, but all too often, when you try and do something healthy- instead of getting the loving support you expect – the truth is other people can hate it! This is because it can challenge their way of living – it’s as though you are an inadvertent mirror, unknowingly reflecting back to them the ways they are unhealthy, or damaging the planet that they might not want to reflect on.
This can feel uncomfortable – so sometimes people start to project that you are judging them ( really they are the only ones judging themselves!) Instead of celebrating your success in it, they start questioning you and looking for ways that you aren’t doing it 100% perfectly – which is of course is much easier to focus on than having to do anything themselves.
It’s a common human tendency to start trying to analyse an issue in someone else-instead of looking at the real place – within. I had this when I stopped smoking and decided to take up an Ayurvedic lifestyle many years ago. I just wanted to change old habits that were no longer serving me and be more healthy, but I was surprised at the backlash I got. One former friend told me “you were more fun when you used to come out and drink.” or “stop being an Ayurveda bore!” It felt annoying as I never judge others for the way they live.
As Beth so wonderfully sums it up, ‘when you tell someone something about your life that’s positive ( going veggie, vegan, plastic free e.t.c) a lot of the time it makes them instantly look inwards at themselves and feel the need to justify or catch you out to make you not think badly of them; when the reality is we are not [judging] at all.”
The Lesson?
…So what’s the answer when trying to do something good, but frankly getting beef for it – Do we need to just tell more people to eff off?!?!… well if they are actively negatively affecting our wellbeing – then yes…
But I find that most of the time people don’t do this from a place of malice, but rather because they aren’t aware. They are learning too. And they might just need reminding to be respectful of your choices, even though they are different to theirs. I found there is a lesson in the annoyance it created for me…. Boundaries!!!!!!! Or put simply the acceptance of another spirit as is and the ability to carry on with what you are doing regardless. Now I have come to look at this situation with love – and that is really thanks to them. So the learning opportunity interactions like these bring works both ways….
It all boils down to accepting someone wherever they are on their ladder of consciousness. It’s not wrong. It’s just different, it’s basically just the stage where they, or you are at in your particular learning journey at that moment. Remember everyone in life is just doing the best they can with the info that they have at that particular moment.
I’m putting my hands up here! I have said and done all of the above things before- I’m 100 % sure and that’s the beauty of this experience. The chance to grow.
Now when these comments happen I just send a little bit of love and reiki their way. I’ve found that people that make fun of you to begin with, then usually start making positive changes themselves a little later down the road. It’s always a win-win for both in the end. So don’t be put off by any snarky comments. Keep on with whatever it is that is inspiring you and making you feel good. Just hold your course and keep your centre. Carry on ‘doing you’ while minding your own business. You might be inspiring more people than you know- without even realising it.